Monday, July 2

Hello again, everyone. Happy Canada Day weekend to you all. And hey, thanks for checking the blog again after so much inactivity. I'm back because, well, I finally have some news: starting Tuesday, I'm back to work!

It feels like it took forever, but it finally happened for me. It's a really long story, but in the end, everything happened really quickly. I got the call last week that they were interested in bringing me on, and by the weekend, I was hired. Snap.

What kind of job is this that I can get hired onto so quickly? Surely it's not a ministry job--those things take forever. Well, yes it is a ministry job; more specifically, it's a summer internship, leading to a full-time position in the fall should things turn out well for all of us. I'm now the young adult ministries intern at Cedar Grove Baptist Church in lovely Surrey, BC. I got connected with them through a friend at school who happens to be the senior pastor's son. Initially, I had talked to them several weeks ago about coming on in a permanent capacity, but they have a paradigm of hiring from the inside, so that was pretty much a no-go. However, they don't seem to have anyone on the inside who can step up in this case, so they asked me to come on as an intern so that I can become better known to them. If things go well, we're good for the fall. If not, well, no hard feelings, I suppose.

I know, it's a pretty startling turn of events. And really, it's nothing but God's guiding and leading that accomplished it. Throughout the process there were times when it seemed like there were more obstacles to overcome than could be overcome, but God cleared the way for all of them to come down, and move me into the position that I really wanted in a really great, healthy church. Folded into my job description is mucho music as well, so basically I'm getting paid to make friends with people and play music. Not bad.

Thank you so much to all of those who have been supporting our family in prayer through this time. It was difficult, that much is for sure. But alas, God has opened up a new and exciting door for us to walk through, and we're so pumped to be moving forward in it.

With this new job comes a renewed sense of blogging, so expect more from this blog over the next couple months than you've gotten over the past two. I'm sure I'll have lots of stories to tell, and if not, I'll just make some up. That's always good for a bestseller or two (just ask James Frey).

Moving on. There are things I've been meaning to do on this blog for some time, like post pictures. So here you are, friends, the family update, including much son and dog photography.

You know, having a dog is a lot of fun. There are people who have called us stupid for getting a puppy when we have a toddler in the house. I'll admit that some days I agree, but most days, I think it's a lot of fun. Our dog is well-behaved, is very well housebroken, doesn't bark too much, and sleeps for a good portion of the day and throughout the night, so really, what's wrong with that? Oh, and he's really cute, too. Look, I have proof...

See? Told you. It gets even better when you add a cute baby to the mix, too. Especially a cute baby sitting at the table reading the paper with his morning sippy-cup...

I had a classic dad moment the other day, when we bought the boy a tricycle and I assembled it. Welcome to fatherhood. Seeing the boy ride the thing, well, it's just priceless...

Hey, he even does tricks...

So cute. So much fun. Next time, I might even get a picture of him on his new favourite toy--daddy's motorcycle. Until then, you're just going to have to wait. Oh, come on, it'll be worth it.

So thanks again for coming by. As I said, keep coming back now that I have something to talk about, and I'll hopefully be able to give you a little bit more than I've been giving. See you then.

Friday, June 15

Okay, the moping is over. Sort of. At the very least, that last depressing posting has been up for long enough that it's time to put a new one up. I keep thinking every day that the doorbell is going to ring, and all of my friends will be standing there, yelling, "Intervention!" Don't worry--I'm not going to jump off a bridge just yet.

So how are things going? Surprisingly--or not--still the same, thus this posting will be short, and boring. I certainly do appreciate all the kind words that have been said, both in the comments and the emails I've received. Glad to know that people care.

Am I still frustrated? Oh yes. But vomiting it all out onto the pages of this blog was surprisingly cathartic, and I've felt better ever since. I'm still trying to piece through what's going on and get some options lined up. There have been a couple more let-downs since I last posted as well, which is not a lot of fun. It seems that doors keep closing, but, to be horribly trite, that just means we have to look for the open window, right? Yuck.

Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you all knew that I am fine, and will continue to be fine going forward. This is taking a lot more time than I thought, and it's testing my patience and ability to persevere, but persevere we will, and we'll come out on the other side better for having gone through it. Everything in life, even the most frustrating, discouraging experiences, are put in our path because we need them to build character. Although I think that I've had just about enough character built over the past two years, I apparently still have more, and I know exactly where I need to improve. If only I'd stop being so thick-headed and actually learn the lessons instead of having to have them drilled into me, well, I think we'd be on a much nicer track. Then again, you never really know, do you? I thought we learned a lot of good lessons in Three Hills, but here we are, having more character built. It's challenging, but it's good. Really.

Oh, and yes, the dog is fine. He's very adorable, but it's been quite an adjustment. One morning, when he woke up at 5:00 and started whimpering, I turned to the wife and said, "Okay, we're definitely not having another kid just yet." So at least we know that.

Housebreaking is also going well--better than I expected, actually. Since I've only been a cat person, the entire concept of housebreaking is completely new to me, and wow, what a world it is. There have been a couple of accidents, mostly small, and mostly as a result of me startling the poor dog (literally scaring the piss out of him). I've only found one turd in the house so far, but again, it's a result of poor owner behaviour as opposed to poor dog behaviour (we hadn't let him outside in three hours--oops). And there's the whole puppy energy thing that's really hard to get used to, especially when your ankles get bitten, or the dog decides that playtime is appropriately placed right before bed when we're trying to go to sleep. But it's fun, really.

I think I'm going to start posting more regularly again next week, with tales of dog ownership and perhaps the long-promised-but-never-delivered photography. We'll see what happens. At any rate, it should be a whole lot of fun.

See you then.

June something-or-other...

Notice how I'm not even dating the posting today? Nice touch. Takes the focus off how long I've been away, and gives me an out for the rest of the week. You could say I've been shamed into posting tonight. Here's what's been going on.

The problem, my friends, is that I'm in this huge spin cycle right now, wherein life looks no different today than it did the day before, or the day before that, on and on ad nauseum. Thus, all my blog postings in this time frame would have resulted in me pretty much being able to copy and paste the last one, with a few dates and events changed.

Things on the job front look, frankly, dismal. The opportunity that I had talked about before turned out to be a bust--they decided to go with the other guy. I hope things work out for them, but it sucks to have given six weeks of your life to a process, just to have it end and you be back at square one. Everyone keeps saying that I really haven't tried at very many places, and I shouldn't be so discouraged, but I am.

Here's the thing: ministry work is not glamorous. In fact, it's quite possibly the profession with the least perks of any. The pay is bad, the hours are long, there is constant criticism, and your livelihood completely depends on the giving of others, which, to some, gives them control over your every move. But despite all of these things, it's still what I want to do. I don't know why. Well, I do know why, but I can't explain it.

It's not like a "normal" job, where you can walk in, do an interview, and know within a week--at the most--what your status is. It's hours, weeks, of giving of yourself and your time, it's meeting people, answering pointed questions, being vulnerable in front of complete strangers. It's emotionally exhausting, it's arduous, it's grueling. And I feel like each time I go through the process, I leave a bit of me behind and come out on the other side with less of me than I walked in with.

I'm discouraged. Why do I want this? Wouldn't it be easier to just get back into something I do well, that pays better, and just forget the whole concept of professional ministry? Yes. And no. And maybe, too. I'm at something of a crossroads here, and it's triggering all the fight-or-flight responses that I have. What I'm trying to do is sort through what I'm feeling and make a decision that will be best for the family. How do I do that? I don't know.

Hmm, this is turning into a massive therapy session. This is why I haven't been blogging. I need to figure out what the heck I'm going to do with my life. I'm 27 (which seems young, I know, but it feels old when you've been out of work for two years), I have a family who relies on me, and I'm scared. About the future. About my career. About my calling. About everything. I've been over and over the course of events from the two churches I've gone down the road with thus far, and I just can't figure out what it is that's sinking me. It's really frustrating.

On top of all the job stress, I just had a $1500 car repair bill and a $320 furnace repair bill, only to find out that our furnace is completely shot and needs to be replaced. On top of that, the hot water tank could spring a leak any second, the boy needs to eat, and the mortgage needs to be paid. And here I am, jobless.

It doesn't feel like I'm here for lack of trying, but I'm sure that's how it's coming across. I don't know. Maybe you're reading this and you're thinking, "Ah, get over yourself." That's fine. I will. I just need to find the road, you know?

So that's the story from here. I know, it's pretty sad. Since I know you don't want to be reading this miserable drivel every day, I'll try to get the tone back up for the end of this week. Maybe I'll actually come through on my two-week-old promise to post some photos (perhaps of our new dog). That'll help, I'm sure.

My apologies for the ranting. I'll come back by the end of the week with a shiny, happy new posting. See you then.