Thursday, April 26, 2007

I was right. Turns out that I had, in fact, studied adequately for the test this morning. I admit to a brief moment of panic when I walked in and heard that the test was 120 multiple-choice questions, but they were all good questions--no tricks, no underhanded behaviour. Those who studied did well; those who didn't fared less well.

I managed to finish the test in about 25 minutes (told you I knew my stuff), and was the first one done. Although that gives me some personal sense of accomplishment, it also frightens me a little. Some of the people near me were only on question 95 when I handed mine in, which made me think that I had done something horribly wrong. But I stuck with it and gave it up. No, I didn't re-read all my answers; there were 120 questions.

Later, I talked to one of the guys in my class who happened to stroll past the house with his daughter. After our usual pleasantries--by which I mean him slagging me for being a Canucks fan, which makes no sense being that he's a Flames fan, but he's much bigger than me, so I tend to keep my comments to myself--I asked him how he found the test. He, too, thought it was fairly easy. Whew.

Having taken many a multiple-choice test in my life, I am by now a grizzled veteran of that particular testing methodology. Skim the test first to see what you're dealing with, go through it, tacking the easy questions first, and then come back to the hard questions later. On this particular test, though, I managed to do 116 questions on the first go-around. I wish they all could be that way. I'm not saying that I necessarily got them correct, but I at least had an educated guess.

And just in case you're keeping track, yes I'm finished, and no, I don't feel any different.

That was the morning. Well, at least the first 30 minutes of the morning. Walked both ways in the beautiful spring morning; feels like about February back home, but it's nice. The sun comes up really early on the prairies (and goes down really late), so by the time 8:35 rolled around, the sun was quite high. Crisp, dewy, everything you'd expect out of a spring morning. The kind of day that makes me think I'll miss this place when we leave.

When I got home, we began the process of packing the boy into the car for the Calgary odyssey (good thing I have a built-in spell checker; I never know how to spell that word). Trundled on down and hit the Telus World of Science, which could also be called the Telus World of Shrieking Children and Migraine Headaches, or maybe the Telus World of Overstimulation, but I digress. It's a fun little place. Has nothing on Science World back in Vancouver, but it's good. There wasn't much for toddlers to do, but we found enough places to keep the boy occupied for quite some time.

The cool thing about the science centre is that there are science facts all over the place, including the washrooms. In fact, I learned more in my two trips than I learned in the rest of the day. All the facts are washroom-related, as you'd expect. For example, did you know that the substance that gathers in the corner of your eye when you sleep (sometimes called, "sleep") doesn't have a name? Really, it's true. I also learned that by the time you turn 70, you will have consumed a pile of food the size of an elephant and pooped a pile the size of a car. Not sure what kind of car, nor if the measurement is weight or rough dimensions, but interesting nonetheless.

Of course, no public attraction would be complete without over-priced foodstuffs. We managed to do pretty well at the "cafe," mostly because we brought along a bunch of stuff. Two orders of flaccid fries and a delicious scone: $5.50. Considering the "sandwiches" were also $5.50 apiece, we did well.

So we spent two hours nerding it up, and then managed to navigate our way over to wife's cousin's house to pick up something. I was pretty proud of my Calgary navigating skills, let me tell you. The place is so sprawling that it takes quite some time once you actually enter the city to get where you're going. It only takes us an hour to get to the city limits from here, but you need to add on at least another 30 minutes to get to where you're going. The same could be true of any city, though; country life has spoiled me.

On the way home, we passed a town we've passed innumerable times before, but isn't it funny how sometimes you notice things for the first time. Each city in this area has a fancy wooden sign with the name of the town on it, along with a reader-board underneath for important announcements. Spring run-off has evidently affected the nearby towns as well, as both Acme and Linden have a boil water advisory up. When we passed Linden, I was reading the advisory on their board, and noticed their slogan that I hadn't seen before: "Rural industrial capital of Alberta." That's quite the boast there, Linden--can you back it up?

It reminds me of that Corner Gas episode where the folk of Dog River decided build a large something in their town to attract tourists, similar to the giant Ukrainian egg in Vegreville, Alberta, or the giant statue of Paul Bunyon and his blue ox, Babe in every other small town. Slogans seem to be the same way: you just have to have one. It doesn't matter what factoid you grab, it can sound impressive when engraved on a sign for passers-by to gawk at. What's Three Hills' slogan? I don't know. I've never actually looked at the sign.

Some others from around here...

Irricana: "Open the Gateway to the country." This town takes the imperative form of slogan, as opposed to the boasting form. Whereas Linden's slogan tells you an interesting fact, Irricana's commands obedience.

Beiseker: "Crossroads to the Future." Not sure what motif they're going with there, exactly. Perhaps "hopeful longing." A crossroads implies some sort of watershed moment; although the past and future do present an interesting juxtaposition, I'm not sure they're getting their point across. But what do you expect form a town whose mascot is a skunk named, "Squirt"?

Torrington: "Home of the World-Famous Gopher Hole Museum." Not sure I need to make any kind of comment at all, actually.

Some towns don't bother with slogans at all. Trochu (just up the road from us--that could be a slogan all on its own), for example, even though it has a slick website, does not have a town slogan. Where are your priorities? Another is Acme. Although I would consider, "Featured in Cartoons since 1948," it seems too obvious.

By the way, Three Hills' slogan is, "For a Brighter Future." Again, not sure what, exactly, they're basing that on, but it sounds optimistic. And communist.

Okay, time to take a break: the second period just started. Didn't like the last half of the first one, but I'm trying a new optimistic outlook. I'd keep going, but my computer interferes with my rabbit ear reception, so I can't.

Later. Could this series be any different than the last one? No wonder it looks like we're trying to figure out how to skate all over again. This Ducks team is going to be hard to beat, but beat them we will. They have some fast skaters, and they've burned us several times because of it. We look pretty bad tonight, but it's only game one--lots of series left.

Where was I before I got sidetracked with slogans? Oh right, Calgary. Before we even left the city, we stopped at one of the many Superstores in the area and picked up some things. It's always interesting going into another location of the store you most often go to. Things are somehow familiar, and yet different. All the same things are on the shelves, and yet the shelves are organized differently. It's just enough to throw you off. But we managed.

While in the store, we wandered past the deli section, which has a pleasant selection of freshly-made items. Wife got sidetracked by a salad roll--she's been trying to find one the entire time we've been here, but this is the land of burgers and steak; salad rolls are not on the menu. Anyway, she found one. Sitting beside the sushi. I couldn't help myself--I had to have a California Roll. For store-bought, it wasn't bad. But it's nothing like the place back home. Which we're going to the minute we roll into town.

Anyway, got home, had some time outside with the boy, and ate dinner. For some mysterious reason, the bonfire mentioned in yesterday's posting did not happen, but that's okay--we have a lot of stuff to pack. Built some boxes after dinner before bath and bedtime, and managed to get some non-essentials packed away. Like winter clothes. Am I being optimistic? I hope not.

In other news. I got an email invitation today from the distance ed department, inviting me to a reception for strictly distance ed students (of which I am still one). There was a line in there about how the president of the college will "do his best" to be there and appear in some photos. Oh well, if his excellency deems it fit to come to our lowly reception, we would be honoured. Seriously. He'll try? How hard will he try, exactly? What they need to say is, "Since the distance education department is such a small arm of our school, nobody, including the president, gives a rip about you suckers." At least it would be honest.

Oh, and I've got an update on our broken door handle situation, first reported here last night. I got the okay from our landlords to fix the handle, after being thoroughly interrogated as to the cause of the breakage. After defending myself against an implication that perhaps I broke the handle off by hanging off of it whilst closing the door, I think I proved my case. Because it's really a good idea to be stupid and break something in your last week. But hey, it gives me something to do tomorrow to keep me out of my wife's hair, so that's a positive thing.

And so, we conclude. This, friends, is the second-last posting to this blog. As I mentioned last week, I do plan on maintaining the blog (same address, different name) when we get back, but I haven't really fleshed that out yet. For now, tomorrow's post will be the last for a while, and so I'm sure the nostalgia level will be high. Right now, however, the third period has begun, and I am off to watch the exciting conclusion of this game.

See you tomorrow.