What a Way to Cap a Weekend...

Ah, the crazy weather. I'm not sure I'll ever really get used to it. On Saturday, it was 27 degrees; sunny, hot, beautiful. On Sunday it got up to 15. Today it got up to 5. That's 22 degrees in two days. From shorts to woolies. Crazy.

Of course, one of the things that accompanies a change in weather that drastic is a corresponding drastic drop in barometric pressure. Some, like my wife, are susceptible to this change, and as a result are dropped by a massive headache on days like Sunday. Like I said in the title, what a way to cap a weekend.

Otherwise, things went well. Had a fun trip into the big city (Calgary) to visit with my cousin Melissa and her husband Dan, as well as my cousin Scott, his wife Nancy, and their newborn, Brady. Good times were had by all. Babies stories a-plenty were swapped. We all had a fantastic time, including Theo, who was totally enamoured with the fact that we picked him up some new toys on the way there, ostensibly for the plane ride home, but we couldn't resist giving him a sneak preview.

Yes, you heard right, the plane ride home. We're going back on Wednesday evening for the Thanksgiving weekend, returning Monday (of course, this means that regular postings will take a hiatus until Tuesday--I have a test on Tuesday that I'll need to study for on Monday). The only thing I'm nervous about is Theo on a plane (that's sort of like Snakes on a Plane, but with less carnage and more drool), but I'm sure he'll be fine. What are the dangers? (1) Pressure change--no problem; that's why he has a soother; (2) crushing boredom; hmm, this is a bit of a bigger concern, especially if there's someone in the seat beside us (what stupid aircraft designer decided that three across would be the standard in the airline industry, anyway?). That's why we bought him the new toys, though, and we figure it's only an hour (1:20 gate-to-gate, so it's actually less in the air) so if nothing else, the person beside us won't have to be there for long.

Speaking of carnage, we had a little "incident" tonight. Oy vey. First off, you have to know that Theo isn't the kind of kid who just falls asleep--he needs very specific conditions to be met before he will sleep. He'll put his head down and rest, but heaven forbid he just closes his eyes and nods off. Plus, if you happen to miss what we call his "optimal sleeping window", you're equally screwed, because when he gets overtired, he's a bear. That's what we were dealing with tonight. But it was bear to the extreme.

We figured we'd put him down a little bit early because he was so tired, and hope that he just ended up sleeping until the same time in the morning. Good plan. Except he didn't necessarily want to go to bed. It's like when kids are a little bit older and they insist that they aren't really tired. Except that his insisting involves screaming. And he's found a way to hit a new pitch that just rattles your skull. So there he is, playing quietly in his crib, just about to fall asleep, and Steph figures this would be a good time to, oh, eat dinner. So she leaves his room. Oops. Full cry mode is instantly engaged, and now we're hooped because we've left and we have to stick to our guns. So the guns were stuck to.

However, since he hadn't yet had his final bottle for the evening, the plan was to let him exhaust himself a bit first, and then go in and give him his bottle when he was a bit more calm. Yeah, he never did calm down. Finally, I went in to try to give him his bottle anyway. I picked him up and he was just heaving with sobs--he had worked himself up into such a state that he was actually not in control of his sobs. It was so pathetic, but so heartwrenching. It's just absolutely crushing as a parent to have to leave your baby to cry, knowing that they're really upset, but knowing that letting them cry is sometimes the very best thing you can do. Needless to say, I felt like dirt.

Anyway, as I was consoling myself with thoughts of a well-behaved child later on in life when the behavioural training paid off, he was calming down on my shoulder. All of a sudden, puke. And I'm not talking a little bit. I'm talking full-on Linda Blair action. All over the place. All over me. Gross. But it's amazing how becoming a parent and dealing with all this baby-related stuff has made me accept all this as a part of life. Normally when you see (or hear) someone puke, your first reaction is to want to puke. But not now.

Yuck. I think that's the most disgusting paragraph I've ever written. So now not only is he still upset at being left alone, but now he's also upset about having expelled his dinner in such an abrupt fashion. So as I'm standing there dripping, Steph, in her own words (and she's a professional writer, so she should know) "whirred around like a spit-up fireman, trying to wipe up all the ickiness from inanimate and animate things alike. Fun times."

Yes, indeed. I think that's probably enough on that topic. What a night. Before I go, I just have to get something off my chest that's been bugging me for a while now, and it's about TV. Okay, have you ever seen one of those commercials that just bugs you so much that every time it comes on you feel like poking yourself in the eye with hot needles? I have one of those right now--the "Just for Men" commercial about facial hair colouring. Okay, so it's an ad for a product that dyes your mustache and beard so that you can look more "natural." Their theme song? Marvin Gaye's "Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing." Is anyone else struck by the irony of that? What are they trying to say, exactly? That there ain't nothing like the real colour, and, gee, too bad you lost yours? If so, they're cheeky buggers, aren't they? Or maybe they're trying to say, "Ain't nothing like fooling them into thinking it's the real thing, baby." That'd be good. But seriously, which brilliant marketing guy thought that one up? "Okay, I've got it--we have a montage [there's your first mistake] of middle-aged guys with facial hair who are happy because they don't have a fleck of grey visible, and we're playing a song about how there's nothign like the real thing." You're fired.

Note to self: when creating a commercial for a product that artificially changes your look, do not use a song promoting the value of authenticity.

That was cathartic, thanks. Happy to have gotten it off my chest. So, yeah, that's all I've got for today. Tune in again tomorrow, though. Big things happening in the Carroll household tomorrow, so come back for an in-depth report. Until then, so long.