I Was Thinking of a Different Adjective...

This blog posting is going to be steeped. And, well, possibly short. And perhaps several other adjectives, none of which would ever be heard in a sentence describing something of immense beauty. More like those associated with walking into the 4-H barn at the PNE.

I have something to gripe about, though, so that should be good for a couple hundred words. First off, I'm sorry, because I'm going to bash Tim Horton's. Yes, I know, the venerated institution of Canadiana; that stalwart of our society; the only restaurant started by and named after a hockey player. Actually, that's not true. I know that approaching this topic is sacred ground, and I don't tread it lightly. But dang it, those commercials are just so stupid. It was bad enough that I had to endure them the first time around, but to resurrect them the next year--that's torture. It's like the Bride of Chucky or some other strangely twisted horror movie icon, who, no matter how many times you kill him, always comes back for the sequel. But these commercials kill not with blade, chainsaw, meat hook, or whatever else they're using in the genre nowadays--they kill by breaking your spirit. Slowly. Painfully.

You know which commercials I'm talking about, don't you? "Hey mom, got you some tea." "Mmm, it's good." "Yeah, it's steeped." Much hilarity ensues. An asian woman is stereotyped and mocked (how they got away with that one, I'm not sure). The catch line is that Tim Horton's tea is steeped.

STEEPED?!?! Did you say steeped?!?! It's a revolution in tea-making! This will change the world as we know it! Now instead of holding the teabag over our mouths and pouring hot water directly into our pie holes, we can actually place the teabag in a recepticle (we'll call it a "teapot") and pour the hot water into it, letting it naturally infuse the water with its tea-leafy goodness! We're brilliant!

Of course it's steeped; it's tea, moron. I suppose next you'll be putting on an ad campaign extolling the virtues of your new "brewed" coffee. Please, make me a doughnut; don't insult my intelligence.

Just as I suspected: 314 words. Now, if only I could write my papers about things that bother me about Tim Horton's commercials, I'd be set.

While I was writing that, I was looking for the Tim's commercials on the web somewhere, but I couldn't find them in my cursory search. You know, if there's one thing the internet has taught us, it's that if you can't find something in 30 seconds, it's probably not worth it. Whereas five years ago I might have searched high and low, now I just do one Google search, and if it's not on the first page of results, I give up. I did have an interesting look around YouTube, though. Wow. I'll admit I use YouTube's services. I upload video of Theo to share with you, the blog-consuming public. I like to think these videos have purpose. At least some sort of purpose. But hey, if you want the definition of inane, go check out YouTube.

For example, I did a search for "Tim Horton's" (for some reason, my fingers always want to type "Time") and came up with all sorts of silly things. Including one where, as far as I can tell, some illicit drugs were involved. Or maybe it was just a bunch of teenage girls who hadn't slept in a long time. Anyway, the whole video was about how they were sitting in Tim Horton's and Steve Darling walked in. That's it. They laugh. It's a minute long. How? I don't know. I only got through the first 20 seconds before I had to stop.

It's interesting what the internet has enabled us to do. No, I'm not going to go off on a rant about the internet. I just wonder why a site where people upload random, silly videos is worth over $1 billion to Google. And why haven't I thought of something like that yet?

Normal, boring day today. No more snow, just to get the daily meteorological update in there. Cold, though. Actually, it's not so much the cold as the wind. Brr. But I promised myself I wouldn't talk about the weather today, so that's all you get. Let's see, got up too early after too little sleep and finished my homework, went off to chapel, went to my class, went to the gym, preached a practice sermon, came home and did homework, ate dinner, put the boy to bed, watched some TV, and here I am. You know what's sad? The fact that I could go on for 300 words about a Tim Horton's commercial, but the story of my day took all of 47 words.

Actually, I can elaborate. As I mentioned, I preached a practice sermon today to one of my classmates. Man, that's a strange experience. As if preaching to a handful of them tomorrow (there are 13 in my class) won't be weird enough--preaching to one was downright unnerving. And yes, it confirmed everything I said yesterday: I have no idea what to do with myself when I preach. I think maybe I'll bring a rope and tie myself down. I'll say it's an illustration, but I won't explain it. That'll get people to think, "Wow, he's really deep. That rope thing was awesome." Hmm. The wheels are turning.

I try to think of what other preachers do when I watch them, and I can't think of anything they do. Which is probably the point, I guess. Their movement doesn't get in the way of their delivery. Well hey, one thing at a time, right? I'll get there eventually. Don't worry--I'll be sure to let you know how it went tomorrow.

Well, I'm done. It's not as late as it was yesterday, but I'm tired, and I can feel the quality of my writing slipping steadily away. Come back tomorrow, you know, for fun and all that. See you then.